Expectant Fathers Should Know What?

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When I was a bright-eyed college freshman my mother told me not to do anything stupid that would dog me for years.  She said that I had the world at my finger tips and that anything in my life, at that point, was for the picking and choosing, if I didn’t make any major mistakes.  While this advice was good and mostly true it still didn’t prepare me for life as an expectant father.   A degree in Secondary Education helped me become a good teacher, and a front yard helped me with my landscaping skills. Where was my help for being a new daddy (boy, I needed it)?  Apparently my family was worried also—read my mother’s recounting of “The Day My Son Became a Father,” located at They Call Me Nana.

From the beginning of my professional life I have always been able to slide by on the charm and good looks I inherited from my grandfather.  But even he said that his charm and good looks would only get me so far—that I would need to develop things of substance in my life—like character and knowledge.  Great advice, Grandfather, for most things in life.
I quickly discovered that my new son was not impressed with my charm, good looks, character, or knowledge.  I spent most of the first month sleeping on the sofa, walking bleary-eyed to the bassinet, and trying to figure out what this tiny, screaming human wanted from me.  Thank goodness my wife was the oldest of five and knew something about babies.  She was the reason we, and our son, survived the first year.

I have compiled a list of things every father should learn/do/expect before that first child arrives.  I will follow up with some great tips from some of my Twitter followers.

1. Free Time Is No More – In fact, free time is now called bed time. When experts say that parenthood is 24 hours a day they literally mean 24 hours a day!
2. Stay Focused During Delivery Day – Never ever ask a random hospital worker to accompany your water-leaking, laboring wife up the elevator while you take the stairs (unconquered fear of elevators).  Yes, sadly, I tried it.  But when my wife’s head spun around and she growled, “Get in the elevator” I suddenly overcame my fear and made the ride with her.  Then my wife yelled and swore to skin me alive if I did one more stupid thing (were these goofy things the mistakes my mother had been referring to?).  Things do calm down if your wife chooses to have an epidural (my wife did…Hallelujah).
3. Baby Care Class – I can’t believe I am a full time SEO for a travel company and I didn’t think to at least Google a video about baby care. Learning a few tricks and practicing a few diaper changes can make a world of difference.
4. Patience – Things from here on out will never go as planned. I once caught poop in my bare hands in a Baby’s R Us parking lot because I didn’t want it to get in the backseat of my car. Luckily, my wife did get that 10% off she was arguing about (first paragraph post).
5. Play Time – This one was easy for me. My son loves to play, and many times he wants me to play with him. But all the time he wants me to watch him.  I am told that this odd phenomenon will never go away.  “Hey Dad, watch this” and “Hey Dad, watch me.”  Who knew??
6. Guys Night Out - They don’t completely go away, but they become very random, much shorter, and start at about 10:00 p.m.
7. Ask Your Pediatrician Questions – They actually like helping, and it’s nice to know the right answers.
8. Learn the Metric System – “Honey, can you give “Champ” 5 ml. of his antibiotic?” This one is not that hard but important.
9. Enjoy Your Last Full Nights Sleep – My son was breastfeed until he was about 10 months old. Like clock work, he woke up every 2 hours. My wife was a trooper. (Just on a side note we are going to supplement with formula the first few days so our next child will get on a better sleeping schedule)
10. Basic First Aid – Things happen. . .not often, but it will add a little assurance if something goes wrong.
11. Fashion Matters – Apparently it matters what your toddler is wearing. I think a diaper and Stride Rite shoes make a pretty good outfit. My wife thinks differently.
12. It Always Costs More – Regardless of how much you plan and budget, you will always spend a few more dollars. For my family this reality applies to buying formula, buying diapers, and even buying clothes.
13. Intimacy – You have to wait 6-8 weeks to be intimate with your wife once your child is born–maybe longer if there are complications.  More importantly, you and your bff will never be truly alone again.  But, it’s okay.  You and she will make the adjustment, and you will never really want to go back to life “before baby.”

Some responses from Twitter followers…

@digitaldads – Basic first aid, how to cook, patience and how to play!

@dadtrends – Definitely should learn about PPD – how to spot it and what to do about it.

@SeattleDad – Read ‘The Expectant Father’ by Armin Brot. Dial back personal time, since it won’t exist much afterwards.

@SuperMegaDad – The thing that helped me the most was the baby care classes. How to change a diaper, how to dress your kid, & no spare time!

@gladdads – I tried to get at that answer when I wrote this post: http://www.gladdads.com/2009/11/5-things-parents-must-get-right.html

@UKDad – Most important thing – try to enjoy the early days, don’t get too stressed it will all work out in the end.

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